1.It seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for intercourse. Don’t you have access to women that will do it for money?看来要经历一段性关系还真是麻烦得要命。你就不能花钱找个妓女吗？
2.You accidently stare at a helium-argon laser, lose one turn and a retina.你一不小心直视氦氩激光，暂停一轮并失去一只眼睛的视网膜。
3.Stop it! Both of you! All this fighting. I might as well be back with my parents. "Damn it, George, I told you if you didn’t stop drinking I’d leave you!" "W’all I guess that makes you a liar cause I’m drunk as hell and you’re still here." "Stop yelling, you’re making Sheldon cry!" "I’ll tell you what’s making Sheldon cry, that I let you name him Sheldon."别吵了，你们两个！听你们吵个不停简直就跟我爸妈一样“该死的乔治，我说过你要是再不戒酒我就离开你！”“这只能说明你是个骗子，我已经醉成这样，你还没走。”“别嚷了，谢尔顿快被你弄哭了！”“告诉你谢尔顿为什么哭吧，因为我让你给他起了这个破名。”
4.I’ve heard that before. Then the next thing you know, I’m hiding in my bedroom blaring a Richard Feynman lecture while my Mom is shouting that Jesus would forgive her if she put ground glass in my Dad’s meatloaf. And my Dad’s on the roof skeet shooting her Franklin Mint collectible plates.这话我听多了。但然后呢？接下来我躲在自己的卧室大声读着费曼（著名物理学家）的讲义，而我妈则在吼叫着说她即使在我爸的'烘肉卷里放上玻璃渣，上帝也会原谅她的。还有我爸，站在屋顶上，用我妈的富兰克林珍藏版碗碟玩双向飞碟射击。
5.You keep in mind that my sharply worded comments on Yelp.com recently took down a muffin store.记住我在Yelp.com那些关于一家本地松饼店言辞尖锐的评论。
6.Mister Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was a Science officer. And I guarantee you if he ever saw the Enterprise’s check engine light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately.史波克不是企业号的驾驶员。他是科学家。还有我保证只要他看到企业号的检查引擎指示灯闪那么一下，他会下令靠边停。
7.According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you’ll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone.那位莫名暴躁的接待护士说，你排在那个声称自己有心脏病的男人后面，但在我看来，他健康的很，还能在他的iphone上玩涂鸦跳跃呢。
8.Now remember, you were given powerful pain medications and a muscle relaxer. So, uh, don’t operate heavy machinery. And try not to choke on your own drool.记住，你刚吃了强力止痛药还有肌肉松弛剂，所以千万别去操作重型机械。小心别让自己口水噎到窒息。
9.Why are you such a stupidhead? That is also rhetorical. Sorry you had to hear that.为什么你是个笨蛋？这也是个比喻。真抱歉你们不得不听到这些。
10.Biologically speaking, Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate for the propagation of his genetic line, and if that propagation is in the interest of humanity is, of course, an entirely different question.从生物学角度上说，霍华德想找最佳伴侣繁衍后代完全合情合理，但这种繁殖如果站在人类进化的角度来看又是完全不同的问题。
1.Penny, you’re an expert at trading sexual favors for material gain – walk him through this.佩妮，你在用肉体来交换物质这方面是专家-教教他。
2.Leonard, social protocol states when a friend is upset you offer them a hot beverage, such as tea.莱纳德，社交礼仪规定，如果朋友心情不好，你应该给他们倒杯热饮，比如茶。
3.Just keep in mind, if you ever need a slightly apathetic tertiary friend, I stand at the ready.你只要记得只要你需要一位略显冷淡的第三好的朋友，我时刻准备着。
4.Priya, if you’re experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I may quote Howard, 'do the dance with no pants.'普丽娅，如果你觉得有些紧张或者尴尬很可能是因为莱纳德和佩妮以前曾经，用霍华德的话来说叫做“赤裸共舞”。
5.At one point, Raj put on reggae music and his sister took off her shoes. It was like the last days of Caligula.拉吉在放雷鬼音乐，他妹妹还把鞋给脱了，简直就是卡里古拉大帝的晚年时期。
6.I’m Sheldon. For regular readers of the New England Journal of High Energy Physics, I need no introduction. If you’re not familiar with that publication, there’s a free copy in your goodie bag.我是谢尔顿。对于经常阅读《新英格兰高能物理学》杂志的人来说，我不需要介绍自己了。如果你不熟悉那本刊物，礼品袋里有免费样书赠送。
7.I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.我必须得离开，他们的玩乐方式有误。
8.Real chili doesn’t have beans in it. But you’re from a foreign land, so your ignorance is forgiven.地道的辣椒汤是没有豆子的，但由于你是来自异乡人，你的无知可以被谅解。
9.Howard, if I might interject here with a bit of friendly advice, is working on magic tricks really how you want to spend your time? Granted you’re just an engineer, but that doesn’t mean that someday you might not build a geegaw or thingamabob that may get you a thank you in someone else’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech.霍华德，容我插句嘴给你一条友情建议，难道你的人生就指着这些魔术小把戏了吗？我知道你只是个工程师，但是这并不意味着你不会某天做出一个小把戏或者小玩意儿能让别人在诺贝尔奖的获奖演说里送你一句“感谢某人”呀。
10.“Not knowing is part of the fun?” Was that the motto of your community college?“不知道才有乐趣啊”这是你们社区大学的校训吗？
别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?
Forget? You want me to forget?
我这脑子 啥东西忘得掉啊!
This mind does not forget.
从我妈给我断奶后 我就没忘掉过一件事
I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
- 那天是周二 下着毛毛雨 - 好了...
- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...
你哭什么
Why are you crying?
我哭我自己蠢啊
Because I'm stupid!
那也没理由哭啊
That's no reason to cry.
人只有悲伤的时候才该哭
One cries because one is sad.
比如说 其他人都太蠢我感到悲伤
For example, I cry because others are stupid
所以我才哭
我和许多女生交往过
Well,I've dated plenty of women.
Joyce Kim还有Leslie Winkle...
There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...
通知牛津英语词典的编辑们
Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary.
"许多"现在被重新定义为"两个"
The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."
Sheldon 你是个聪明人
Sheldon,you are a smart guy.
- 你得知道 - 我是"聪明人"?
- You must know... - I'm "smart"?
要被归为"聪明人" 我得去掉60点智商才行
I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as "smart."
- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Koothrappali.
- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Hofstader.
- Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper.
- Dr. Gablehauser. - Mr.Wolowitz.
我是硕士
I have a Master's degree.
谁不是?
Who doesn't?
多年来 我们一直潜心 试图探究他将如何繁衍后代
Over the years,we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce.
我主张的.是有丝分裂
I'm an advocate of mitosis.
什么?
I'm sorry?
我相信 总有一天 当Sheldon吃到 一定量的泰国菜
I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food
他就会分裂成两个Sheldon
and split into two Sheldons.
另一方面 我在想Sheldon可能 是他这个物种的幼虫状态
On the other hand,I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species,
有一天他会做茧 不出俩月 就破茧成蝶
and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
Howard 电话在响!
Howard,the phone is ringing!
我有个疯狂的主意 老妈 接电话如何!
Here's a crazy idea,Ma: Answer it!
你好?
Hello?
好的 稍等
All right,hold on.
是你朋友 Leonard!
It's your friend,Leonard!
他想知道你为什么今天没去上学!
He wants to know why you're not at school today!
我不是去上学 老妈 我在大学就职
I don't go to school,Ma. I work at a university.
那就是学校! 快接电话!
That's a school! Now pick up the phone!
我谁都不想理
I don't want to talk to anybody.
要我叫Leonard把你的家庭作业带来吗?
Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework? !
我没什么家庭作业的
I don't have homework.
我是个拥有工程学硕士的大爷们
I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering!
抱歉 了不起先生
Excuse me,Mr. Fancy-Pants.
想吃冰棒吗?
Want me to get you a Popsicle?
樱桃味的 好吧!
Cherry,please!
樱桃味的我吃了 只剩蔬菜味的了
I ate the cherry. All that's left is green.
你让我真想自杀呀
You make me want to kill myself.
