148．掌握谈话的艺术

掌握谈话的艺术。人的真实个性能够在谈话之中得以体现。谈话是人类生活中最平常的事，但没有任何事比它更须小心谨慎。人之得失尽在于此。书信是深思于心而诉诸笔端的交谈，写信尚需审慎而行，而需立即展现才智的实际交谈，岂不更需要谨慎？那些深谙交际之术的行家里手能感受到他人之灵魂在舌尖跳动，因而先贤(1)说：“说话吧，这样我才能了解你。”有人认为谈话的艺术就是没有艺术，谈话如同穿衣，只需整洁，不需修饰。若是朋友间的交谈，这当然没错；但在与长辈交谈时，就应得体，以顾及交谈对象的体面。说话应适合别人的心声，才为合适。不要苛责他人的言辞，否则你将被视为学究；也不要做思想的税务员，否则人们会就此躲避你，至少不会再轻易地表露他们的想法。在交谈中，谨慎比雄辩更为重要。

148．Have the art of conversation

Have the art of conversation. That is where the real personality shows itself. No act in life requires more attention, though it is the commonest thing in life. You must either lose or gain by it. If it needs care to write a letter which is but a deliberate and written conversation, how much more the ordinary kind in which there is occasion for a prompt display of intelligence? Experts feel the pulse of the soul in the tongue, wherefore the sage said, "Speak, that I may know you." Some hold that the art of conversation is to be without art－that it should be neat, not gaudy, like the garments. This holds good for talk between friends. But when held with persons to whom one would show respect, it should be more dignified to answer to the dignity of the person addressed. To be appropriate it should adapt itself to the mind and tone of the interlocutor. And do not be a critic of words, or you will be taken for a pedant; nor a taxgatherer of ideas, or men will avoid you, or at least sell their thoughts dear. In conversation discretion is more important than eloquence.